Demonically Challenged
by RaNdUm-Ash
Summary: Felicity is not your average demoness, she has problems. You could even say she is "demonically challenged" REWRITTEN
1. Major Won't Take Sarcastic Attitudes

I present the rewrite of "Demonically Challenged" I would like to thank the fans of this story for wating. I hope ya'll arn't upset in the changes! I also set the time back a little, starting the story a little bit earlier in the events of _Hellsing_. Now, please enjoy...Oh and before I forget, all I own are my OCs!

Oh and _slant_ means whats in the letter (You'll see)

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><p>Immortal life isn't a great as one would think. Sometimes it's painful, dealing with memories of the people you loved, now gone forever. Never to return. Sure it's nice sometimes. You can't be killed real easily, and you stay eternally beautiful. But what is the point if your dieing on the inside, wanting what you can't get back?<p>

As I fly to my destination, my blond hair flapping in my face, those thoughts came to me. What was the point? Is there even one? I guess those are questions I shall never get the honor of a answer to. I mean, after 514 years of living, including my years before immortality, what was the point? The point of life. I've only found love once in all my years, and he's gone now.

I land somewhere close to my destination, a believe a park. My wings are tired from all the flying. As I walk, I notice all the odd glances I get. I look at my clothes and guess why, I'm in a red shirt that covers only one shoulder and is only just above my bellybutton, a green plad (Note- I hope I spelled that right) mini-skirt that is a bit longer than mid-theigh, and black combat boots. Oh, and it's 30 degrees in Germany.

Oh Germany, lovely country. Supplied us with a war, which lead to many sinners coming down to my home place, Hell. Hell acually isn't _**AS**_ bad as people make it sound, sure it's hot and full of complete a*sholes. But there are _**SOME **_nice...demons. Oh, then theres my type, the scary looking ones who are acually softies. Saddly, theres no one else in Hell like that, especially not with my species of demon.

I wonder how much farther will this place be?

~Time Skip~

I flop down on the ground somewhere in the woods. I've walked from that park, through the city, I don't really care which city I was in, and now I'm in the woods. I honestly don't see how some humans, athletes I believe, do this for fun! It is simplely **TOO. MUCH. WORK**! Ugh, besides how I'm I gonna find a bli...oh look there, theres the blimp I have to find. Why is there a a blimp in the woods though...

As I fly on top of the blimp, I notice...a Nazi symbol? Isn't World War II over? Huh...oh well, maybe the owner is a collector of some sort. I land on a window on top of the blimp, inside I see many men in uniforms, hurrying down the hall. Are those Nazi uniforms? Odd... I wonder how I'm gonna get i-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

All I see before I black out is the sky, growing farther away...

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><p>Ow...I think I broke my wing... I get up with difficulty, and look up. I'm guessing I fell... thirty feet? No wonder. Eh, I'll get it fixed when I get back. I've got a mission to finish. I pull out a folder from my side bag, wonder whos the lucky person today.<p>

_Name-Otto Weber_

_Age- unknown, currently vampire._

_Location-Germany_

_Description-Last seen with grey hair, balding, pale, lean._

_Note- Destroy fast._

Well...that discription helps... theres probably like...tons of people with that same description! I walk down the hall, whos knows, maybe somebody would be dumb enough to help me find him.

"Hello Miss."

"AHH!" I whip around, ready to attack, when I see... a little boy in a Nazi uniform?

He reaches out a hand, "Sorry, did I skare you?"

Should I trust him? I stare long and hard at the hand he extened to me. Eh...what could possible happen? I took his hand and told him I was not scared, just suprised. He smiled and giggled a little. He looked down the hall to see glass all over the floor.

"Vat Happent zere?"

I looked back, "Um...well..."

"I knov you broke in here."

I rubbed my hand behind my head, "Hehe...well I kinda...fell."

He laughed. And laughed.

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><p>"Are you done?"<p>

"Yes...(sigh) acually, I vas suppose to take you to mein leader."

"Ah..." He grabs my hand and leads me down the dark hallway. In time, we come to a room with a Nazi symbol, the leader's room? He opens the door and peaks his head in.

"*Major, brachte ich den Eindringling."

"*Eingeben." said a german accented man.

He opens the door and pulls me in. A fat man sits on a chair, behind him is some tall dude in a trench coat and a...odd looking man-stripper? The boy went up and sat next to the man's chair while two men grabed me and forced me to the ground. I was not happy with being held gun point.

"Hov dit you get in here?"

"I fell."

"Zen explain how you have no skratchs?"

I stared him in the eye and replied with a smirk," 'Cause, I'm awesome like that."

I heard the gun load, apparently sarcasum is not welcome...

"Do you vant to give another answer?"

I sighed," I am wounded."

"But vhere, you vere able to valk here and your holding yourself up with your arms?"

"Like I would tell _you._" I spat out venomously.

Both guns were pushed into my temples, a warning.

"One more smart remark, and I vill gife permission to blow your head off."

I looked him in the eye, challenging," Do it, I dare you."

The Darkness came after a deafing boom...

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><p>Traslations-<p>

"Major, I brought the intruder."

"Enter."


	2. Theory

Hey I'm back! Sorry for a delay, I just got a puppy and...well shes a handfull... anyway, heres chapter two! ENJOY~ I own only my OCs! Oh and _**this means like the machine's...beepy noise...thing. **__This is flashbaaaaaaaaaaaak...or backround noise..._

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><p><em>"Humph, she vasn't a fery big zreat. All she vas vas a vaste of time."<em>

_"Traurig (sorry) Herr Major."_

Voices...?

_"Zake the body to zee feeding chamber."_

Feeding chamber? Where am I? I feel my body leave the floor, pain serges through me, my wing area is still sore from impact earlier. I wince.

"How...? Dok, untersuchen Sie das Mädchen! (examine the girl)"

"Sie hörte ihn, nimm sie in den Untersuchungsraum! (You heard him, take her into the examination room!)"

I move my head to see the fat man, the cat boy, and the...I guess doctor. I wince again as my carrier moves.

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><p>"Dok."<p>

"Yes Herr Major?"

"Find out vat she is. No human kould surfife zat."

"Yes Herr Major." I bow as I exit the room. The girl is different. She survived a 30 foot drop and two bullets going through each side of her temples. Maybe...if we could get her on our side...she could be of use.

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><p>The table I'm put on is cold... My carrier is long gone. I notice giant tube things with...is that people? What kind of experiments are done here? More of a question...how do I get out?<p>

"Vell, look vho voke up."

I sharply turn my head to face the doctor. Or is he a mad doctor? He snaps on some gloves and goes over to, from what I see, a tool table.

I open my mouth to demand to know what he's planning, but my voice won't come out. It still must be trying to reform. I wonder what has reformed so far? Let's see, I can move my head, I can smell, I can see, and I can atleast twitch my fingers and toes. Vocals should come back...soon...hopefully.

Suddenly, the table is moving over to some sort on machine. He attachs head-gear to my head, secures it, and pulls a switch...

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><p>The machine seems to work on her, she blanked out in normal time. I look to the monitor, her brain...it's...rebuilding! She can't be human...nor vampire for those were blessed bullets. She can't be a werewolf...can she? No... it's not possible. Maybe...she's something else... a cyborg? No...there is not an ounce of machinery in her. Could she be... Theres a chance... I'll research more, just in case. I write my thinking on a clipbored.<p>

"Soldier!" I yell at a man passing the lab," Gebt dieses Blatt Herr Major." I hand him the clipboard," Er wäre daran interessiert, die Ergebnisse. (Give Herr Major this sheet. He would be interested in the findings.)

He salutes and goes down the hallway. _**Beep beep beep beep **_I run to the monitor, he brain is almost completely reformed, but...something is going on. Her heart rate is pumping fast.

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><p><em>I landed on the floor, crimpled, like a sheet of useless paper. Just like me.<em>

_"HOW DARE YOU!" I felt the lick of a whip on my bare back. "HOW DARE YOU CAUSE OUR FAMILY SHAME! ABOUT TO MATE WITH THAT WORTHLESS HUMAN, HAVE YOU NO SHAME? NO PANG? More licks followed as she spoke, but my thoughts aren't with the pain. They're with him...how I shall never see his smiling face...his deep voice. How I shall never get to walk down the aisle, to become his wife. How I will never hear my name come from his sweet lips...never again._

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><p>I have tried everything to wake her, but my attempts are in vain. Finally, I just shake her till her eyes flutter open.<p>

"What...where...who?" is all she manages to speak till she goes unconscious. Maybe the bullets did some damage? Slight memory loss? I'll have to run more tests about that when she wakes. 'Time to run some tests.' I thought. I run x-rays, no seen damage. Wait...what are those? Are those...yes! Some evidence! I call my assistant into the room, prepared to give my orders,"Holen Sie sich jedes Buch können Sie auf Dämonen. (Get every book you can on demons.)"

"Sir!" He salutes before running down the hall. I run more tests to find more clues that could help.

"Dok!" I turn around to find Herr Major. "Vhat do you mean?"

"Herr Major, I mean she may be one. It is zee only option zat makes sence!"

He turns to look at her, the thought sitting in his mind. After time he spoke," Alright...but, zry to find other possibilities...just in case."

"Yes Herr Major."

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><p>Well...this is taking some time...trying to get the accent right... (sigh) hope it was worth the wait! I got writers block in the middle of writing this...still have it honestly. Thanks for reading!<p> 


	3. A thousand pardons please! (Notice)

I am soooooo sorry! Someone erased something on my computer and I had to COMPLETELY WIPE MY HARD DRIVE AND REBOOT, LOSING EVERYTHING (emo corner) I had twenty chapters typed on both of my stories! Y I NO SAVE IT ON FLASH DRIVE!? I am so sorry for all of this, I will try and type them back up...but it will take time. A thousand apologies to the people who read my stories (bows)


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